Adversity: The Strength to Overcome
“Adversity strengthens you.” If I would have heard this statement a few years ago, I would have dismissed it as laughable, at most, right away. I can still distinctly remember hearing the song “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson and listening to the lyrics that told me, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. “Ha!” I would yell at the radio. “What does she know? She hasn’t been through what I’m going through. I’d think to myself, the pain I was feeling, knowing that I was the only help to my children as they disregarded me as their mother, was far worse than death. I would sometimes even wish that the heaviness of despair would kill me. I never thought that strength grew at the roots of disparity.
Facing Adversity: My Painful Path
No matter our age or season of life, we all go through painful challenges. At one time or another we are faced with adversity. Yes, it can be the most painful experience you can ever imagine; I know from experience. I faced my biggest adversity challenge as a mother. The realization that I was not someone in my children’s lives that they respected, loved or wanted completely devastated me. After all, I was their mother! Shouldn’t that be enough? I’d often wonder. Unfortunately, to them, it wasn’t, and for me, it was a hard pill to swallow.That season of my life, facing adversity from my children, took me through deep depths of despair that were filled with very dark moments. Within those moments I began to notice a slow, but steady, incline in my personal awakenings. Did I come out unscathed and loving this lesson? Definitely not. I did come out with a certain kind of healing which included a deeper appreciation and understanding for my children and myself. I gained a stronger sense of connection to other people and their life situations and that, in itself, gave me peace of mind that allowed me to live my life with empathy, kindness and compassion.
Adversity Ignites Action
Adversity is what pushes us to the next step of our life journey. Adversity engages us to act and make a move. Without adversity pushing us to where we need to go to level up, we would remain stagnant with very little growth. Eventually, without any growth, we may experience boredom, complacency and monotony in our daily lives. Life is about living and learning. Life is about growing through times, both good and bad. Life is about appreciating every moment, every small miracle and every new season. One of the most important, and challenging parts of life, is learning to appreciate life’s adversities for what they are and what you can learn from them as you venture into a new life chapter. Through adversity, you learn to take actionable steps to improve your situation and your life. You learn that by doing you can accomplish great things, even in tough times. Experiences propel you into all those facets that make you, you. Through my experiences, with adversity, I ended up with a deeper and greater appreciation for life and what it truly means to live. Now I know that I can face any storm. I may waver, but I will learn and grow through it until the next season approaches. At the end of my life I will look back on all of the seasons I have embarked on and have a wonderful story to tell… as will you! When you’re facing adversity remember that a greater journey lies ahead, be actionable and push through the tough times to experience the serenity.
Facing the Adversity in Parental Alienation
Maybe the biggest adversity you are facing involves being alienated by your children just like me. Step one is to understand that you are not alone. Like myself, many parents face a certain level of alienation from their children sometime during their lifetime. You can and will get through this season and come out on top.
Let me give you a glimpse into my feelings in the hope that you can find some solitude in understanding my personal journey with parental alienation. I found that I had to stop listening to the Hallmark channel during the holiday season. The togetherness that was portrayed on the television made my loneliness kick into overdrive. I had to stop listening to the outside world painting a picture of how families and their children are supposed to be in each other’s lives forever. I realized that’s simply not true. I quickly realized that I would never stop giving up hope that one day my children will want me in their lives in an open, honest and loving relationship. I also came to the realization that a reunion may never happen and that’s okay with my heart.
Ask yourself these questions when you’re trying to navigate this life season:
- What if we are not supposed to be in someone’s lives forever? What if, rather, we are only supposed to be there for a small part of it to let that person know they are loved or to have a positive experience from us so that they can continue their life journey with a subconscious level of knowing they are important to the person who created them?
- What if it didn’t matter if we were in their lives? Knowing that they are always in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, can that be enough for right now? For us to move forward?
Life’s adversities can be so heavy sometimes, right? It is normal to feel as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders as you try to put the pieces together to understand this part of your journey. Adversity is something that affects everyone. You are stronger than you believe and can handle anything that stands in your way. Are you having a difficult time trying to push through a current situation or adversity? Let’s chat! I would love to help guide you through this tough season so that you can come out on top.