Moving Past a Toxic Relationship

Remember this: I am enough!

Repeat it often to yourself. Believe it fully. Acknowledgment is empowerment. When you’ve faced obstacles that seem impossible to climb over, remember that you can get through it. When you experience people and relationships who question your worth, remember that you are enough just as you are.  Toxic relationships can take a toll on our mental and physical wellbeing. Some people may come into your life and try to take advantage of you, control you or, even, downright destroy you. I know because I’ve been there and I am now surviving and thriving. I am here to tell you that you can do the same. Let go of the shameful victim feelings you may have had while in an abusive relationship.  Praise yourself for being here and now, away from your abuser who made you feel any less of a person.

There is only one you and you are a gift

Relaxing and allowing the lessons you’ve learned to sink in while letting go of the emotions, is what pulls us through our toxic experiences and allows us to live functional and happy lives. It begins by remembering that you are unique and one-of-a-kind. There is empowerment to be found in your unique qualities. You came into this world gracefully crafted and specifically chosen. Your life is important. You have a purpose. Your physical creation was a journey in itself.  Every step you’ve taken and grown through makes up the pages to your unique and exquisite story. Don’t lose sight of that. The good and bad chapters have made you uniquely you today- a gift to the world who is strong, capable, and resilient.

There is empowerment in taking ownership of our situation

Most of the time, we get ourselves into each event that we face, good and bad, which may include being in a toxic relationship. I understand what you’re thinking, that’s a hard pill to swallow. I know firsthand, I dug my feet in so hard it took a few years to be able to accept that statement. I came up with every excuse I could to prove that I had nothing to do with my circumstances. I pushed the blame to others and, at times, ignored the hurt just to survive through it.  I told myself I had no power, no control over my situation. I was controlled. I was master-manipulated. Sounds familiar?  One day though, you will be hit with an epiphany and realize that you’ve had enough. This is when you take ownership of your circumstance. Once you’ve taken ownership, you gain control. Separating yourself from the toxicity becomes an immediate goal for you. You no longer settle for the pain (physical and emotional) and find your way to your own freedom. Everyone’s path to freedom looks different based on their unique situation. Your timing may be different than someone else’s as well as your plans, but the goal is the same: escape the toxic relationship and begin again on your own two feet.

Moving on 

You did it! You got out of a bad situation!  Believe it or not, you had created that goal! To get out and create a new and better life. Now it’s time to set a new goal, focusing on you and how you are going to create that life you so richly deserve.   Somewhere along the line, we stopped loving ourselves. We allowed the outside world to dictate our inside world and how we are going to show up far too often.  I’m sure you can relate. Maybe you are thriving now or are years into your thriving journey, but you understand the pieces it takes to make your world whole again. Moving on is a renewal process for your mind, body, and soul. You are on the journey to begin a new season of your life, stronger and more determined than ever before. You’ve got this!   

From Surviving to Thriving

We love ourselves so much that nothing and no one can come into our space without our permission once we’ve left a toxic relationship. By practicing regular self-care, we gain a better understanding of who we are at the core and begin to build boundaries for what we want (and don’t want) in our lives. We understand now that we control our fate. By creating the borders necessary to say “no” with ease to anything that does not serve our purpose and “yes” with confidence to anything that sparks our souls, we are empowered. Loving yourself enough to show up in this world as you is a beautiful thing!  By doing the work necessary to become who we were meant to be we get the most out of all that life has to offer. By learning to stand on our own, figure out what we want, and realize we’ve had it all along, deep inside, we are now in control. We are thriving! 

To learn more tools and techniques to get the most out of your self-care routine, or to begin a routine, check out my new mini-series here.

I would love to hear about your surviving to thriving personal story. Please reach out today to share your amazing journey with me.

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