Put your Big Girl Panties On!

How many times has life knocked you down?  More times than you want to admit or count?  I know for me, I’ve been knocked down and hard!  Life can be challenging, to say the least, but it’s not about counting our faults or negative experiences that matters most; it’s about learning from each experience and leaping forward into a positive, life-altering growth. 

Don’t the knockdowns always seem to come just when things are starting to go really well?   You’re flying high and nothing could get in your way, right? You think, “everything is working out for me! Everything is going my way!” Then, CRASH! Out of nowhere, something happens that puts your life into a tailspin. The moments of pure peace and happiness you experienced just turned into moments of despair and anguish. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. In these moments, our emotions take over and we are in a state of complete hopelessness. It feels as though we’ve instantly become lost. 

During this less-than-ideal time, we start to go down the slippery slope into darkness. We come to the realization that we’ve fallen hard.  We have officially entered our own depths of despair. The pain becomes intense, our emotions are overwhelming and life seems to be at its absolute worst. Home becomes our staple location. All we want to do is stay in bed with the covers over our heads, ignoring the world outside. Socializing with friends, family and even strangers become a chore that we aim to avoid at all costs. We, sometimes, resort to using a type of addiction, from food to alcohol, that will numb the pain. With each drink, we hope that the pain will vanish into thin air, but after a while, we realize we have to continually medicate to keep the feelings at bay. We become empty shells of who we were; wandering aimlessly, using the little energy we have left just to survive.  Somewhere between the bed and the shower, you realize you’ve hit rock bottom. You grapple with the thought of this new existence clenching on to the idea that things couldn’t possibly become worse… and suddenly you’re right, they don’t!

A glimmer of hope suddenly appears and you realize the only way to go is back up! You wake up one day and decide you need to make a change.  A little spark inside of you starts telling you, “get up and get moving!”  You start planning your renewal and taking inventory of yourself.  As you stand in front of the mirror you start to see yourself again for the first time in a long time. You think to yourself, and say out loud, “Wow, my hair is a mess, when was the last time I showered?” This small act is a pivotal point in your journey. You now have to decide what you are going to do to get on the path to healing. 

The first thing you are going to do is realize you’ve just spent time feeling the emotions of your trauma. This alone is a big step, so, Congratulations! You’ve officially taken the most important step to rebuild your life and move forward from the black cloud overtaking your hopes and dreams. Part of any healing process is to acknowledge your situation, raw and unfiltered. By feeling and allowing your emotions to be as they are, you’re already working through your situation, even if it doesn’t feel like it just yet. The trick here is not to allow too much time waffling in your emotional state. Give yourself time, but be mindful of each moment and feeling so that you can productively move past it; from feeling to healing.  

Once you start to feel the emotions and begin to let the bad ones go, this is the point where you are ready to put your big girl panties on and get up! You may not be feeling 100% better, or even 10%, and that is completely okay. By continuing to take actionable steps forward, you will get to a place of peace and happiness. You will reach a point where you look in the same mirror that you once did as a messy-haired, no-showered woman and see an empowered woman who proclaims, out loud, “I DID IT!” You will officially make it to a new season of your life once you heal from the trauma. It will no longer have a hold on you. 

So now to the fun part… What do those big girl panties look like to you? Are they lacy? Oversized? Purple polka-dot? Whatever panties you imagine, have fun with this!  Get creative with the type of panties you put on!  Enjoy the act of mentally getting yourself up and moving by first putting on the most empowering, fun panties you can think of. By envisioning the act of getting up and getting dressed, you are mentally creating an environment of empowerment and attitude of, “I’ve got this!” You’re beginning to put yourself in a positive state of mind.   

Let’s be honest, who’s heard of someone taking care of themselves and feeling bad about it!?  When you’ve put on a pair of panties and bra that felt and looked good on you, how did you feel? Confident? Strong? Beautiful? Empowered? Put on a pair of fancy panties, sister! You’ve got this!

Wallow for a while in your depths of despair and feel all of the emotions. This is a healthy part of the healing process. You’ve been hit by a trauma. No matter how small or big the trauma is that you’ve faced, it’s all relevant and plays an important role in your life story.

When things go downhill, and they will from time to time you’ve got two choices: succumb to your misery or put your big girl panties on, move forward, and heal to an even more empowered you! I have a feeling that you’re going to choose option two. After all, you are a strong, confident, empowered woman that can handle any situation that comes your way!  You are capable of anything, don’t ever lose sight of that!  

Are you in the trenches struggling to find the light in your journey? Schedule a one-on-one session with me. We can discuss how you can get to work, put on your big girl panties, and overcome anything. I can’t wait to help you heal! You’ve got this!


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